How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
