I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
