I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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