You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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