He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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