I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I could fuck to npr.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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