So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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