Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
