my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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