I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
