She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
