Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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