Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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