Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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