Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
