Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
