Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
