it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.