He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?