Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
