He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and she was petting her beer can
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
