my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
and she was petting her beer can
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
