I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
