you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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