The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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