But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
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