Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
