We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My pussy is not your playground.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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