Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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