VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
