HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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