I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
