then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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