Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, beer. Big fan.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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