She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
