yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize