come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
