She said her name was "party"
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
