I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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