Can Purell be used as lube?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
