Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
