apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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