guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
