Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the day after is always just damage control
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
