evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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