so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
