Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
