Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
