I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
