I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
