Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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