We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
