some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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