How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
