I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
