jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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