Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize