imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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