We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Someone signed my nipple.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
