It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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