Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
