Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
