I wanna bring you to show and tell
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
