i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
