Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
