I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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