Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
