love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
