We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
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you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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