i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
